I followed you with my eyes. It didn’t seem to matter. Everything we had talked about, it was all irrelevant now. I seemed to be talking outside of myself, as if someone had taken control of my body. I couldn’t seem to control my limbs, especially my tongue. You looked back at me, finally, but in a different way. You looked as if it wasn’t me you were looking at, but someone else. That’s when my heart started racing, when I realized it was not my imagination. There was another part of me that existed independently, that whispered sinister words out through my ears for all to hear.
This time I caught you looking at me, and it was really me. I had to remember these rare moments, or it would all be lost. The moments were unpredictable. Sometimes I was for days at a time. At other times, I interchanged moment by moment between the other and myself. It could not be controlled, no matter how hard I fought.
The days urged on, pushed by the hands of time. I was loosing myself at a greater rate than before. You came to see me fewer nights, and on more and more nights I watched you from behind a wall, trapped beneath my own skin. I heard myself say that you needed to be there, that terrible things would happen if you ever went away. My bones ached within, how was I pushing you away? You lingered less, and eventually I could not even feel your fingertips brush against mine. All sensations faded away, I faded away. And even if you had stayed, I would not have seen you, heard you, or felt you.
